I've always hated saying goodbye...never was really good at it with her...then again I guess both of us were never really good at it...but this time I have a feeling its going to be different for sure.., but its ok though, in time all of this will only be a memory...time will eventually heal all wounds, as long as you hold onto the good ones it'll be all beuno...as Nicole said it...life is full of twists and turns, its full of unexpected outcomes, but everything happens for a reason and a lot of things dont become clearer until you start to reach the end and unfortunately you have no control over what happens and all you can do in the end is say "wow...what a ride."  maybe we'll cross paths again..maybe not..but only time will tell that part.....

Donell Jones- Where I Wanna Be
Never did I imagine that you would play a major part
In decision that's so hard
Do I leave? Do I stay? Do I go?
Think about my life and what matters to me the most
Girl, the love that we share is real
But in time your heart will heal
I'm not saying I'm gone but I
Have to find what life is like without you

Story Of The Year- Razorblades

This wasted so many nights and again
I've wasted so much time on a friend
Too young, too proud to understand
So this is the end

Rise Against- Everchanging

There's nothing simple when it comes to you and I,
There's always something in this everchanging life,
And there probably always will.
Now that time is getting harder to come by,
The same arguments are always on our mind.
We've killed this slowly fading light.

Now the lines are drawn,
Is this feeling gone?
The best parts of this have come and gone.
And now there is all this is.
With the reasons clear,
We'll spend another year
Without direction, full of fear,
But now things will be different.

Now something has kept me here too long
And you can't leave me
If I'm already gone.
That says that something
Has kept me here too long
And you can't leave me
If I'm already gone.

Now that we
Make the same mistakes, we're always hanging on.
Break those promises we're always leaning on.
All this time spent waking up.
I keep this line open to get this call from you
Speak the words
That keep me coming back to you.
Now this time it's all different.

Now something has kept me here too long
And now I'm gone...

today I realized once again nice guys finish last

ok I need to vent lol...I'll just never understand some girls...I seriously don't understand it...I honestly dont even know how I should really feel...not sure if I should be upset, or happy, or sad...

said I was a so great, a so called perfect guy in her eyes, said it was scary how things were like a fairy tale between us, never had a single argument, flipped through my older entries..those were some great times lol, we both were able to have our own lives while be together, everyone seemed to envy us at the time...as she said these things I told her to listen to herself, to listen to what she was saying cause it honestly seemed like it was nothing but a bunch of words to her....like seriously how am I supposed to feel? told me she didn't want to see me or talk to me as much anymore cause she was afraid we'd get back together cause here I was...once again supposedly I was this great guy shes always wanted yet on the other hand school right now in this point of her life was a bit more important than me which it definetly should be and it wasnt really possible to a certain degree to have both..which I was totaly cool about that, totaly supported her decision, tried to do the best thing for her by giving her as much space as possible, I purposedly left her life for a lil bit via a few ways since I had no intentions of holding her back cause I know how important school is for her..I know how important it is to go off to college w/ no strings attached..I knew for a fact from personal experience this way was much much better....I love it how I cared so much for her I was willing to do all that for her, I tried to be soo patient with her, to be supported even though it kinda hurt me to let her go...then again it doesnt really matter anymore...I'm prolly more hurt right now than I've ever been before...by anyone

I hate xanga..I'm getting rid of this crap...sometimes its better to not record things so you can just forget about it easier...

-recieved an email from A&F....I kinda wanna go to Ohio now...

On Thursday, September 23rd join Abercrombie & Fitch as we host the fourth annual A&F Challenge at our campus in New Albany. The challenge consists of three separate events -- the 5K run, 5K inline skate or 20-mile bike tour. Enjoy live entertainment, great food and beverages after the events.

The Cause

This year's A&F Challenge will benefit the Ohio State University Hospital, the Abercrombie & Fitch Scholarship Fund, and the Abercrombie & Fitch Community Fund.

University Hospital is the flagship patient care facility of the Ohio State University Medical Center. University Hospital has been named one of "America's Best" by U.S. News & World Report for 12 years. The Abercrombie & Fitch Scholarship Fund will be a source of support for qualified college students throughout the United States. The Abercrombie & Fitch Community Fund will provide a source of support to nonprofit organizations located in the communities of A&F customers, associates and business partners.

Event will go on rain or shine. Event staging will begin 20 minutes prior to start of each event.

4:00pm		Race-day registration opens (Allow at least 30 minutes to register)
6:15pm		20 Mile Cycling Tour start (helmet required, must be 18)
6:25pm		5K Inline Skate Tour start (helmet required)
6:30pm		5K Run
7:00pm		Post-event festivities featuring barbecue-style food, beverages including keg beer (ID required), and live entertainment from Vertical Horizon

I used to love doing these fundraisers and stuff, can't really get much better than this...getting to help out people while having fun is always the best...so who wants to do a road trip to Ohio? lol

-went surfing then running friday morning....that surf competition is still humangous...you think it'd die down by now

-Liz's party was lame as hell lol...sorry sweetheart but your kickback sucked lol =P ok now shes prolly gonna beat me up for this...you may be wonderwoman and prettier than me but I can still out swim/run/bike you =P

- i shouldve gone to work at HSS

-stay awake, I'm here dont say sorry...

-so roger just called me at like 1230am.......drunk....along with like 10 of his cousins and her friends....it must be "lets call lawrence drunk" week.....funniest part was one of the girls asked me if I was anything like "Lawrence" from School of Rock lol or the pirate joke another one told me...."these arggggh drivin me nuts" lol

-tomorrow going to Huntington to surf with Shawn....fun times..then we're running from Beach all the way to Bolsa Chica

-soccer game in Pasadena tomorrow night...against the same guys as last time..they think they'll beat us but I doubt it =)

-tomorrow nights is Liz's (the gap model/superwoman/travel agent/soccerplayer/snowboarding rep lol) party..she moved it from saturday to tomorrow.......can't wait!

-trained the heiress from IN N' Out again...took her running from Kings to GHS and back....shes pretty f'ing fast lol...dude I want my free double doubles already!! =)

-I put up 245 today on the bench!! thats more than 100lbs over my wieght...I'm happy..I think I'll stop working out now lol

-today was a good day...minus some stuff that happened with ems but its ok...just minor mis-understandings...sometimes I wonder why shes always mis-interpreting me..she knows deep down I support what shes doing 110%...but for some reason she just doesnt seem to want to believe me...she always thinks I'm going to start an argument with her..but whats there to argue about if I support her decision completely? all I'm trying to do is be supportive of her ...I'm trying to give her exactly what she wants..and its space...I'm trying to make sure we're cool still yet she gets frustrated with me...I'll just never understand some girls...